Well, when you go
Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay
And maybe when you get back
I'll be off to find another way
I watched you as you stood in front of the mirror fixing your tie. You wiped some sweat off your forehead and let out a shaky sigh. You combed through your hair with your fingers and made a face. No matter how many times you try to fix your hair, its still a mess.
You turned around to face me. I guess you felt me watching you. You gave me a weak smile and turned back to the mirror as you took a pick to get the knots out of your hair.
"Gerard, you don't have to do this." I said
"Yes, Bob, I do." you replyed
"No you don't" I argued. "No one has a gun to your head."
There was a pause.
"Well, maybe I should put on there." you spat at me.
And after all this time that you still owe
You're still the good-for-nothing I don't know
"But Frank-" I started
"But Frank nothing. I-I don't want to talk about it now."
"But now is the only time! Your getting married, Gerard." I implied
You turned to me, your face flustered, red and a pessimistic shine in your eye.
"Do you think I don't know what today is? Do you think I don't understand i'm marrying someone I don't love? Do you think I don't know Frank and I are in love? What?! Your making me feel like an idiot!"
The pessimistic shine in your eye was replaced by the glimmer of tears. The rosy red of anger began to melt of your cheeks as I sat down and put my arm around you. We sat in silence for a while as I let the memory of your break down simmer off a bit. Not just the break down you just had, but the dozens you've had throughout the months of this rotten engagement. All of these panic and anxiety traumas you've had that Ray, Mikey, Frank and I have had to hold your had through.
So take your gloves and get out
Better get out
While you can
"You know I can't comfort you because i'm not good at it." I said. I paused to see if you would answer. You didn't so I continued. "I know that the last couple months have been hard . . . complete hell, but today's today, Gerard. This is the end of the journey." I paused to contemplate what else to say. "Eliza is ready to marry you. . . Physically, not mentally. . . . and your ready to marry her, physically, not mentally or emotionally. ."
You just wiped a stranded tear off your face and sniffled.
"You were right." you blandly stated.
I looked at him, confused. "About what?" I questioned.
"You can't comfort me. No one can, not now."
And with that, you left for the alter. Right in the knick of time.
When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"
You stood in front of the preacher, fiddeling with your hands nervously. I stood to your side, an usher. I looked at Mikey, your brother, and usher as well. Ray, usher, your best friend and bandmate. They were both looking at the ground, looking so uninterested and sorrowed. Like this was a funeral instead of a wedding.
I looked over to see Frank, your best man. I was surprised when I saw him and he looked so calm. His eyes were bloodshot and red, like he had been up all night crying. He just lifted his head and swerved his head to get his hair out of his eyes. He sighed and looked back at the ground.
Eliza began to come down the aisle and everyone rose.
Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
But baby when they knock you
Down and out
It's where you oughta stay
She looked beautiful, she always does. Her hair was down in loose curls with faint pink lips gloss. She had a light application of eyeliner, eyeshadow and blush. She walked with her father in hand and smiled weakly at people in the crowd. She looked at Gerard and her smile grew smaller. I guess she knew it wasn't going to work either.
She reached the end of aisle. She kissed her father on the cheek and walked up the 3 steps to reach Gerard. She stood in front of him and took his hands in hers.
Before I knew it, the preacher was reading the vows
"Eliza Cutts, do you take Gerard Way, to be your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part."
"In the presence of God, your family and friends, do you offer Gerard your solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. Do you promise to love him unconditionally, to support him in his goals, to honor and respect him, to laugh with you and cry with him, and to cherish him for as long as we both shall live."
And after all the blood that you still owe
Another dollar's just another blow
So fix your eyes and get up
Better get up
While you can
"Entreat yourself not to leave Gerard, or to return from following after him, For where he go you will go, and where he stays you will stay. His people will be your people, and his God will be your God. And where he dies, You will die and there you will be buried. May the Lord do with you and more if anything but death parts you from you."
Eliza stood there and brushed hair from her eyes. She nodded. "I-I do" she said as her voice cracked.
The preacher turned to you. Your face was flustered and your emerald eyes had the nervousness that i've never seen in them before.
When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"
He read through most of the vows until he reached the last stanza.
"Gerard, do you take, Eliza, to be your partner, loving what you know of her, and trusting what you do not yet know. Do you eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the woman she will become, and falling in love a little more every day. Do you promise to love and cherish her through whatever life may bring you"
There was complete silence. Your eyes did not move off of Frank the entire time. It was like you were talking to him through his eyes and he understood. He was watching you, still calm and patient, like he was completely undisturbed. My heart was pounding out of my chest and my stomach felt like it would pop out my mouth.
When you go
Would you have the guts to say
"I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday"
You quickly took your hands out of Eliza's. Everyone let out a slight gasp, just like up on the screen. The whole thing was like a movie.
You just blinked and looked from Frank to Eliza. Two of your loves. One was to make your parents proud and one was what your heart was built of.
The preacher raised his eyebrow. "Mr. Way, are we going to continue?" is all he asked.
You looked at Eliza and she looked at you. "Gerry. . . what are you doing? This isn't right. Just say I do. Whats wrong?" she said threw her teeth.
You simply shook you head at her and looked in her eyes, knowing she was friend, nothing else. Maybe not even a friend, just an aquantice.
I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday
You spoke 4 simple words that meant everything in the world. They meant a new path. They meant letting your heart bleed in the open. It meant letting the whole world see your true and only love. And as you said them, I know Frank had finally over powered your parents acceptance in your heart and mind.
"I don't love you," you replied strongly.
________________
Maybe a bit cheesy.
I like it though.
What do you think?
Subject: I Don't Love You (Slash) 
9/19/2007, 10:41 am
