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 My Chemical Sex Ed

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PostSubject: My Chemical Sex Ed   12/9/2007, 6:06 am

Okay. I met these couple people off of ImNotOkay.net and we were talking about random fan fics we've read. We were talking for hours and we get along pretty well. For some odd reason, the topic of Gerard being a sex ed teacher came up..and then we thought MCR being sex ed teachers would be totally AWESOME! So..we wrote this wonderful fan fic for you enjoyment =]

The writers: click the name for their Mibba/ImNotOkay.net profile.

the sharpest lives. (Me)

Black_Queen

sandersidle

xXIero.ticXx

xXteendeadXx

xthe_patientx - I'll get the link for her profile later.

---------

Lesson 1 - How To Kiss Your Friends Of The Same Sex Without Being Gay



Mr. Way shuffled awkwardly to the front of the classroom, a Starbucks cup in hand. He sat his black leather briefcase on the desk with a light 'thunk'. He turned around to face the class who was sitting in silence, looking bored and uninterested, or maybe in awe over who had just walked into the classroom. Gerard imagined he would be a lot of things growing up - an artist, a homeless man, a rockstar and even a super hero - but never teaching sexual education to a class of high school students.

Why was My Chemical Romance teaching sex ed? Well, their managers spent a good chunk of their money on videos and gig extras instead of paying off the bands expenses. The band was forced to get another job to pay off the costs of touring, merchandise and other expenses a band is charged with. MCR had no clue what they would do, but their manager ended up getting all 5 of them jobs at a boarding school, teaching sex ed. None of them knew how that was possible, since none of them had a degree or any teaching skills whatsoever. They didn't complain though because they were in dire need of the money.

Mr. Way cleared his throat and straightened his tie, wondering what to say to the students first. He cleared his throat and straightened his tie, wondering what to say to the students first. "Um..hello class, and welcome to Rushfields Mixed Boarding School. Raise a hand if you're a freshman." A handful of hands went up in response. "Okay, sophomores and higher?" More hands went up. "So I guess we have a class of variety, yeah?" Mr. Way said, still uncomfortable with the whole ordeal. "Well, welcome to you all, whether this is your first year or not. My name is Mr. Gerard Way..," he stated, writing his name on the board.

"Omigod! You're from that band My Chemical Romance!" one girl called out. "Ah....y-yes, I am," his voice cracked. "I love you and MCR soooo much!" the girl said. Gerard smiled slightly. "DUDE, I love that band," a deep male voice exclaimed from the back of the room. "Where's the rest of MCR?" the same girl asked. "We are all faculty here...Mr. Toro, Mr. Iero, and my brother, Mr. Way will be here shortly. "Omigod! THIS IS THE COOLEST SEX ED CLASS EVER!" a boy in the front shouted. "...You're all going to be our sex ed teachers?" Another girl asked.

"Class, class, settle down..." he calmed them. Mr. Way got the room silent for a few seconds until: "I LOVE YOU MISTER GERARRRRD!!!!" was shouted by a teenie in the back row. "We can't be calm," someone announced happily. "I mean, WE HAVE FAMOUS ROCKSTARS AS OUR SEX ED TEACHERS!"

"Ugh. I hate MCR," some preppy boy murmured. "MCR sucks, emos! Go slit your wrists, Way!" shouted another jock in the back of the room.

Suddenly, a piece of gum went flying towards Gerard and into his hair. The jocks in the back laughed it up, high fived, and giggled some more. Gerard sighed slightly, already annoyed with them.

"So can you go through the female parts of the body with us? I'm so lost when it comes to girls." A smartass boy called from the back of the class. Snickers burst out throughout the room. "Shut up!" along with a varied barrage of insults came from several fans throughout the room. "W-well...Mr. Iero will help us with the first lesson," Gerard said, referring to Frank Iero, My Chemical Romance's guitarist.

The room broke out into World War III, until another man walked in. The man was clean-shaven, tattoos peeking out from under his suit sleeves. He was wearing a collared shirt but you could still clearly see a scorpion tattoo high on his neck. He had the faintest hint of red eyeliner around his eyes. "Hell yeah I will! The first lesson is how to kiss your friends of the same sex without being GAY or LEZ!" the man, Mr. Iero, called out to the class.

"FRANKIEEE!!!" more fangirls squealed from the back and middle of the class. "I thought they were gonna transfer all the teenies out..," Frank whispered to Gerard. "Patience, Iero, patience..," Gerard whispered back as he picked the piece of gum one of the jocks hate spit in his hair. "Don't ask," he said to Frank who was staring at Gerard as he threw the piece of gum in the trash.

Frank continued. "Um...yeah. I'm Gerard's assistant or somethin'." He smacked his lips lazily. "Frannnnk..show enthusiasm or something! They can smell an easy teacher a mile away, I swear to God!" Gerard whispered to his best friend. "And you know you're not completely in dress code, either..," He added. "Dress code? Forget dress code! I dont wanna be here anyway!" Frank muttered back.

"Frank, you're gonna get us fired!"

"SO?"

"So are you guys just going to whisper or actually teach us something?" One of the students interrupted them. "Umm..." they both replied. "Uh, yeah, we're going to start class now," Gerard said as he cleared his throat.

"Turn in your books to chapter 1, on page 5," Gerard asked the class.

"Today's lesson is..."

Just then, a tall curly-haired man walked in nervously. "Am I ever gonna get to start class today?!" Gerard whined. "Toro, get over here and introduce yourself!" Gerard grumbled. "Someone forgot their Midol this morning...," Ray muttered with a laugh. Frank giggled as Gerard rolled his eyes in annoyance. Unfortunately, Ray said it too loud, and a series of giggles washed over the room. "Hi," Ray said as he waved awkwardly to the class. "I'm Ray Toro, call me Mr. Toro" "Don't forget, Toro..my room's down the hall from yours..," Gerard growled. "WHAT? YOU GUYS SLEEP TOGETHER?!" a student exclaimed.

"No! We just mean-," Ray started

"Neverminnnnnndddd...." Gerard said as he massaged his temples.

"Where's Mikey?," A fan called out to the 3 band members. At that instant, the door flew open, and two more men walked in. "MIKEY!!! BOBBB!!!" two more teenies squealed. "Well, whaddya know..more trouble," Gerard said and snickered. Mikey glared at his brother, as to ask with his eyes what they'd got themselves into. "Must you squeal every time someone walks in?!" Frank whined.

"I love you, Mikey!"

"Thats my favorite teacher," a girl whispers to another girl next to her.

Frank turned around and hit his head repeatedly against the board. "Gah--STOP THAT!" Gerard pulled him back over to where he was standing.

"Kill me!" Frank said to Gerard with pleading eyes.

"I saw you guys live back in August. Can you and Frankie kiss like you did back then!?" A girl in the front shouted out.

"CHAAAAAAPTER 1!" Mr. Toro blurted out, trying to get the class back on subject.

"OKAY! Chapter--" the bell rang, cutting Gerard off. "Oh for God's sake." Frank moaned.

"SORRY...DISREGARD THE BELL. WE ARE UNDER MAINTENANCE AFTER LAST YEAR'S ARSON INCIDENT," a voice on the intercom apologized.

Frank plopped down on a chair and put his feet up on the desk, looking like the most bored human being on the planet. Gerard rolled his eyes. "CHAPTER 1! CHAPTER 1!" he said quickly before someone got onto a new topic once more. Most of the kids obeyed Gerard and opened their text books.

"Ok--Chapter 1 is about-" Gerard started

"Shut UPPPP!!!" Frank held an air horn into the air and pressed the button. "OWW!" the class recoiled in pain just as the rest of the teachers covered their ears just in time. All the kids went silent.

"NOW, I don't want to be here anymore then any of you. But since we all have to be here, we might as well make things interesting .. Now our first lesson for today is How To Kiss Your Friends Of The Same Sex Without Being Gay," Frank nodded. "Frank, what the fuck are you doin? That's not in the book!" Mikey whispered to Frank as he strolled towards the front of the class smirking.

"Meh...sue me." He shrugged nonchalantly.

The class burst out into hysteric laugher. "Oh I see we're learning from the experts," a kid shouted out.

"Come on, guys, it'll be fun" Frank started before turning back towards the pupils. "You didn't actually learn about sex out of books did you?" Frank took off his suit jacket as he spoke, making a few girls squeal and a couple of guys raise their eyebrows, and revealed a Misfits band tee underneath. "Nope.." a couple of kids agreed, causing Frank to smile at the other teachers smugly. He threw his jacket onto the kid that hassled him earlier. “HEY!” the kid said, muffled by the jacket.

“FRANKIE’S JACKET!” some teenie girls screamed; diving for the jacket.

A swarm of girls instantly pounced on the article of clothing, causing a ruckus until Bob blows a whistle around his neck.

"Nice," Gerard grinned, nodding. Bob nodded back. The teenies looked up from the now shredded jacket and stared at their teachers, each clutching a piece of fabric possessively. The boy, dazed and angry, sits back in his chair. "Oh my gah, my ankle!" a girl shrieked. "Oh for the love of Bob...what's wrong now?" Frank groaned and rolled his eyes. "My ankle! I-I think it's broken!" the girl's voice shook and her eyes went wide as she held back tears. "Oh shit..," Mikey said. "Mikes, walk her to the nurse's office, will ya?" Gerard sighed.

"You mean carry me?" girl says in delight, suddenly brightening up. "Oh, no...doesn't the nurse make house calls? Classroom calls? Whatever?" Mikey whined desperately. “Go!" Gerard told him." Just walk the damn kid down to the office, will ya?" Frank sighed. Mikey picked the girl up and hoisted her over his shoulder, making her squeal happily and walked out of the room. "No fair! Hey! Mr. Gerald or whatever! My ankle's broken too!" "Erm, mine too?" mumbled a random boy.

"I'm sure you'll live." Frank said.

"Me-me-me!" more kids cried out. Bob blew his whistle, and Frank honked his air horn simultaneously. "Alright! Now, not all of y'all are freakin' hurt!" Frank told them."You are here to learn about sex!" He shouted. "S-E-X. It's not that hard. So unless someone's bleeding, dead, or has something broken to the point where they can see the backs of their knees, LET US TEACH!" The class stared at them with wide eyes, not daring to say anything more. "Alright, now. Lesson one--" Mikey rushed back into the room with a loud slam of the door. "That girl....was faking." Mikey panted, his shirt half off and hair ruffled.

Frank looked over at Mikey and back at the class. "No one goes to the nurse's office!" he exclaimed "If you're bleeding, die! If you have to pee, there's a corner over there! Now, LET ME TEACH MY LESSON!" The teachers tried not to laugh and let Frank continue his lesson for fear of angering him further. "So should we do a demonstration? Okay, yeah. C'mere, Gee." Frank said seriously. Gerard started to sit down in another chair but Frank stopped him and said he was needed in the lesson.

"...What, why me?"

"C'mere!" Frank commanded again. Gerard cautiously walked over to Frank, eyeing the rest of the teachers. Frank pulled him into a rough kiss, but made it look completely real at the same time.

"FRERARD LIIIIIIIVES!" came from several girls in the room. Frank pulled away and wiped his lips. "Alright..." He panted. "Go sit down." Gerard nodded, panting too, and sat down. "Now it's your turn," Frank told the class. Several boys and girls gasped. "He's not serious..," a boy said, laughing nervously. "You want an F?" Frank asked. "N-No..," the boy stammered. "Then get a partner and do what I did to Gerard," Frank instructed the class. No one moved. "Do it again, and we'll move!" a fangirl shouted.

"If you do it, we do it." Frank answered. "Does anyone have cooties in here?" He asked the class. No one said anything. "Well, then what are you afraid of?" "Sorry. I don't kiss guys," a boy said. "I think guy on guy is hot," a random girl said. "Ok, then i'll do it," he challenged. The boy stomped over to another boy in the class and kissed him. Everyone stared in surprise. "I KNEW YOU WERE GAY!" Someone called out. "A+, son!" Gerard exclaimed, clapping."Anyone else?" Frank asked. One boy got up and kissed Gerard, who looked shocked. "What the Frank?! Not me!" Gerard exclaimed, pushing the boy away. Everyone in the class laughed, including the teachers. "I got to kiss Gerard Way!" the boy boasted. "Erm, what do I do? Detention?" Gerard asked. "Now you're getting the hang of it," Frank said. "You all just need to have an open mind." "Bob! Kiss me!" Ray exclaimed. "W-What?" Bob stuttered.

"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" everyone in the class chanted. Bob grabbed Ray by his fro and pressed his lips against Ray's. All of a sudden the principal walked into the classroom. "Ehm.. What is going on?!?!??!" the principal exclaimed, red-faced. "Sorry, Mr. Manson. I bumped into Bob by accident," Bob said sheepishly.

Mr. Manson frowned disapprovingly at the teachers whilst the kids snorted with laughter."You bumped into him and stopped yourself from falling by kissing him?" More of the kids began to giggle as Bob's face slowly turned an unflattering shade of pink underneath the Manson's stern gaze. "Right. I'm a very busy man and I have to get back to work but if I hear of any messing around or inappropriate behavior you will all be instantly fired!!!!"

Manson left in a huff, slamming the door behind him. "What's his problem?" Bob questioned the class as soon as Mr. Manson was out of earshot. "Well, you aren't exactly supposed to be in a relationship with a co-worker." Mikey snapped at Bob. "Ray and I aren't dating! We just kissed like FRANK, here, instructed us to." "What so you've never heard of hands-on learning?" The class snickered and started chanting.

"FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!!!!"

"SHUT UP!! We are NOT gonna fight!" Frank quieted them down. "Now," he sighed and ran his hands through his hair, "Where were we?" "You, um, you were trying to get us to kiss each other." A girl told Frank, shifting in her seat, obviously uncomfortable. Frank visibly perked up and jumped onto the edge of the desk, swinging his legs childishly. "So I was." The rest of the guys had taken seats behind Frank and were watching him intently, trying to guess what he would come up with next.

"Next is.... third ba-"

"CLASS DISMISSED!" Gerard cut him off before he could get them into any more trouble.

"Wow...what a first day..." Mikey said as the last of the class left the room. Frank sauntered in front of the guys and headed out of the door.

"Hmm....this year should be great fun."

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Last edited by Gerard Way on 6/24/2008, 7:37 am; edited 2 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: My Chemical Sex Ed   12/12/2007, 5:47 am

LMAO!!!!

Mr. Manson xD

can't wait for more!!! weeeee!!

-gets all hyped up on caffine-

YEAH!!!! WOOOOOOOTT!!!!

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PostSubject: Re: My Chemical Sex Ed   1/26/2008, 9:19 am

Hehe.

We haven't wrote any in a while, but we had most of this, and I decided to finish it off.

--

Non Lesson - Showing Kids Around The School


The next day, the students were all in a large blob in the lobby as their schedules had instructed them to meet there, talking with one another until whoever was in charge stepped up to the plate.

"Uh...students, students...can I get your attention?" Gerard called from the main staircase.

The kids continued to chatter amongst themselves.

"Hello? Guys. Guys! Can I have your attention please?" Gerard repeated.

"HEY! YOU! SHUT UP! MR.WAY'S SPEAKING!" Frank finally yelled.

The room fell silent. Frank took a step back, allowing Gerard to speak.

Gerard cleared his throat, "Right, thank you," he said.

He turned his attention back to the class.

"As it turns out, we're going to be your tour guides this afternoon."

"...Even though we have no idea where anything is, either." Frank pitched in.

Gerard rolled his eyes.

"Everyone look at your schedules and see what the number beside your names is."

The crowd's heads all dropped down to look.

"OKAY! Uhh....everyone who has a one, you're with me, so stand by the door."

Part of the crowd shuffled, with a few squeals of joy ringing throughout the room.

"Okay! Group two is Fra--I mean, Mr. Iero." Frank gestured towards another set of double-doors.

"Group three is Mr. Bryar. Everyone in that group can make their way over to the cafeteria. If you have a four, you're with Mr. Toro. You can stay right here at the staircase. And five is Mik--Mr. Michael, so go on and head out with him now so you can make room for the others. Everyone will go off with their house masters and meet in the cafeteria for dinner at 6:00. You all have 2 hours!"

The crowd departed, each of the teachers nervously and awkwardly leading their group in their own directions.

Once all of the students were with the guide they were supposed to be with, Gerard's group began to walk down the hall.

"This is my room or office; whatever you want to call it," Gerard said as he pointed to the door the students stopped at.

"We all have our own. This is Mr. Michael's, that is Mr. Toro's, beside his is Fra-I mean, Mr. Iero's and across from his is Mr. Bryar's," he said as he pointed to each.

"Me thinks we're gonna make a lotttt of trips in this hall..," one girl whispered to another with a giggle.

Gerard heard the girl, but was already getting used to the random comments of all the fangirls in the class.

"Okay, so let's go downstairs to the principals office," he said as he began to walk to the stairs. All the students followed; the fangirls followed happily and the haters followed solmenly, wishing they could have another band be their teachers.

Mr. Way and the class made their way to the bottom floor. There was the principals office, the janitors closet, and the teachers lounge. It was a very small hallway since there were only 3 rooms. Gerard pointed to the principals.

"You all already met Mr. Manson. He's your principal."

"Yeah, we met him! Ray and Bob were kissing and he yelled at them! It was funny!" another fangirl exclaimed with a giggle.

Snickers washed over the students and Gerard simply sighed.

"Yes, he did. He-" Gerard started but was interrupted by the principals office door opening.

"Hi Mr. Mansonnn!" a girl called from the back as the tall figure of Mr. Manson came out of the office. Gerard gulped easily at the sight of his boss. He was a frightening looking person, head to toe. Gerard was already uneasy around him from the incident with Ray and Bob yesterday, but having Mr. Manson stare him down like he was doing wasn't very enjoyable at all.

"Mr. Way, where all have you toured these students so far?" he asked in a deep cracked voice.

"Uh, they've been in our hallway so far. They saw our offices and then I brought them down here to show them where your office is," Gerard said shakily.

Mr. Manson nodded which was the last thing he expected him to do.

"I presume all of you are enjoying your time at Rushfields Mixed Boarding School?" Mr. Manson addressed the crowd of girls.

"Yes, Mr. Manson..." the crowd replied in unison.

Gerard stood beside them, smiling nervously. :

Well....carry on, then." Manson shuffled back inside his room, where you could hear loud muffled rock music blasting from inside. The girls snickered, and even Gerard held back a chuckle as they continued down the hall.

"Mr. Iero...where're we going?" a girl called from the back or Frank's group.

"Uh..." Frank mumbled, peering at the map with a furrowed brow.

"You're lost, aren't you?" asked one of the preppy blond girls.

Frank scratched his head. "No, I am not lost. I'm just .. not aware of where I'm supposed to be"

"Yes we are lost! I've seen that creepy painting on the wall 3 times already!"

"They're duplicates," Frank lied, rolling his eyes.

Frank's group eventually found where they were supposed to be and finished the tour, along with the rest of My Chem's groups. The 5 members met up with their groups in the lobby, just when the bell rang for the students to attend to their rooms.

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PostSubject: Re: My Chemical Sex Ed   8/30/2008, 1:00 am

ROFL!!
I love this!
Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: My Chemical Sex Ed   8/30/2008, 1:03 am

^Lmfao, thanks.
We haven't written for months, but I just started talking to one of the other writers, we might start doing it again. If we don't, I'll try to write it myself. =)

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